back when i was suicidal in high school the tiniest things would make me want to kill myself but also the most trivial things would stop me
i remember looking at a bottle of sleeping pills and going “i’m going to kill myself. i’m not going to get out of this town. i’m not going to be able to get into a good college” and then i would go “but wait! if you die tonight, you won’t be there when they invent time travel. what if you die tonight and aliens land tomorrow and you miss it. the entire world would change and you would miss it.” “ah, yes. good point. i’ll wait until next week to die. once i’m dead i’m dead, so i can wait a little longer to see if something cool happens before then.”
it never did but it brought me back from killing myself until i started seeing a psychologist and got on antidepressants
people are re-blogging this and i dont mind b/c they’re relating to it so that’s nice if it’s helping ppl understand
the whole “you have so much to live for!” idea was nice and well intentioned, but i felt like people were just spouting bullshit at me because i didn’t. i didnt have any friends or dates or talents. i had nothing to really live for.
but things like “oh, well if you die now you won’t be able to find out who jon snow’s mother is” did help. because i went “oh, well i’ll finish this book to figure out if my theory is right first.” because i was going to die anyway so a few more hours wouldn’t hurt and by the end of the book i felt less suicidal.
also years later i found out i was right about my theory.
This exact thing has helped me so much. Things like, “Well you can’t now because it’s Thanksgiving and you’ll ruin it, wait until after” “well now it’s almost Christmas so do it next year” “Well you can’t before you see how Game of Thrones ends” “Think of all the cats you haven’t pet yet” the trivial things have always helped me more than the whole, “people will miss you, you have so much to live for”
Find something to make you hold on a little longer, even if you take it hour by hour or day by day. Even if it’s just something like, “Well if I die tonight I won’t get to eat my leftover Chinese food tomorrow” it helps.
this post needs more notes and attention!
When I was suicidal at like 12-13, I’d usually end up talking myself out of it with “but if I do it now then I’ll get caught and I’ll just end up in the hospital and live instead of dying”, and later on I started reasoning with myself along the lines of “k but my fave show is having a new episode next week and I wanna see it” or “I haven’t finished that one book tho” and stuff like that.
There’s literally no such thing as a bad reason not to kill yourself. Just, whatever reason makes sense to you at the time.
“Listen to me– all of you out there! You were told by this man– your hero– that America is the greatest country in the world! He told you that Americans were the greatest people– that America could be refined like silver, could have the impurities hammered out of it, and shine more brightly! He went on about how precious America was – how you needed to make sure it remained great! And he told you anything was justified to preserve that great treasure, that pearl of great price that is America!
“Well, I say America is nothing! Without its ideals– its commitment to the freedom of all men, America is a piece of trash! A nation is nothing! A flag is a piece of cloth! I fought Adolf Hitler not because America was great, but because it was fragile! I knew that liberty could be snuffed out here as in Nazi Germany! As a people, we were no different than them! When I returned, I saw that you nearly did turn American into nothing! And the only reason you’re not less then nothing– is that it’s still possible for you to bring freedom back to America!”
Wow. This was undoubtedly aimed at Ronald Reagan, but it’s like he was talking about Trump and Republicans. Note that he’s calling out the use of fear of “the other” and blind nationalism.
This is the Captain America the world actually needs right now
I wonder how it feels for Nick Spencer, who likes to think his writing is so very topical, that a comic from over twenty years ago has a more relevant and important take on Steve Rogers than anything he’s written about the character in his entire time working at Marvel
Jermaine Thomas contacted me over Instagram for a commission of him & his fiance. We had agreed on $200 for a fullbody image of both of them. After the price was sent, he sent me the money promptly over PayPal.
Shortly after I had received payment, Thomas contacted me about needing an immediate refund. He explained a sudden emergency had come up, and would like to postpone the commission until a later date. Even though I had already begun sketching, against my better judgement I agreed to help him out and give him a full refund. I sent $200 dollars back (My mistake, I did not select the “refund” option, I simply sent the amount back.)
Thomas never contacted me about a commission again, and instead took advantage of my error by filing a dispute for a refund.
At first I thought this was a mistake. I called PayPal and alerted them of the situation, and the woman I spoke to (Sarah) made notation of evidence submitted.
When I contacted Thomas about the dispute, he immediately blocked me over Instagram (jt_supersaiyan). I tried contacted him through e-mail and facebook, but he has ignored my every attempt.
Do not give this guy your money. Even if he didn’t plan this to begin with, he DID take advantage of my error and is trying to steal $200 (+ overdraft fee) from me. I have sent as much documentation as I possibly could to PayPal, so there’s no telling if I’ll get my money back or not, but please at least reblog/help spread this so no one else is taken advantage of this guy.
if anyone ever tells you that english isn’t ridiculous remember that the reason why we have a silent b in debt is because a group of guys got together to standardise english spelling and got to the word debt, which at the time was primarily spelled either ‘dett’ or ‘det’. so they basically went:
‘everyone speaks latin, right? so let’s put a silent b in debt. like debitum, which is latin for debt. problem solved.’
also the reason why there is a h in ghost is because when the printing press first came to england the only people trained to operate it were flemmish speaking, and they put a h after g because that’s what you do in flemmish. they put shit like ghirl and ghoose, but the only reason why ghost stuck is because people saw ‘the holy ghost’ in the bible and were like ‘well, that MUST be right’.
so yeah english is a really stupid language with some of the most ridiculous spelling
Anyone telling you that English isn’t a bullshit Frankenstein language is lying.
English mugs other languages in dark alleys and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary. Pass it on.
Hey my name is Darren! I'm a Queer Trans man from Florida who graduated with a BS in Psychology from UNF. This blog is a mix of my transition along with what I find interesting, funny, or important to share. I'm sorry I don't feel like making a separate blog, but if you search my tags for FTM that should help.If anyone has any questions they'd like me to answer feel free to ask them. I've been on T since May 9th, 2014.
